WeAreInfinite91's Journal

My sister
I dont care who reads this anymore. i cant hold it in.

I feel so guilty. I see her struggle everyday, get made fun of. I do so good in school and I can dance really well.And she isnt really "good" at anything.
I wish I could see inside her world. People always think someone with autism is drooling and making weird noises. Well they are wrong. My sister is one of them, and even though sometimes she may look normal shes isnt. She can barely get by in elementary school and we spend so much money to help her.Shes been to so many summer programs and this year we drive to canisus 4 times a day 5 days a week for her. I feel like I have everything. It makes me cry every time I hear my mom talk about how kids make fun of her on the bus or school, and even kids that are somewhat relatives call her weird and other horrible names.Everywhere I go people give her awkward looks. Even at dance the other girls notice her. She cant help it. She doesnt know how to be social and when she laughs its at the wrong things. Also, my sister never talks to me. Shes always off by herself because thats all she knows. You cant give her hugs she doesnt like it. When she stares off all the time I wonder what shes thinking.And I wonder if she will ever be able to live on her own and have a family. Drew and I are so happy together;I love him. I hope one day she can find someone like him for her. SOmeone who understands her. All my friends make fun of me because I want to "help the africans" but thats not just it. I want to help people, anyone because I know what its like to see people you love struggle. Why wasnt I the one with autism? Why am I the one with a 102 average and all the coordination?I have the greatest friends and she doesnt have any. I want to make sure I live my life to the fullest and appreciate it. And to my friends, this is why I say what I say and do what I do to help people.

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